My Review of Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker

I can’t believe they made Emperor Palpatine’s skin orange in the new Star Wars: The Rise of The Skywalker™

The movie “Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker” does not exist. There is no script, there are no characters, no plot, not even any special effects. When you step into the cinema, you and all the other movie-goers simply stare at a black screen for two hours and 21 minutes. The Star Wars theme plays on the speakers in the beginning and at the end. The cinematic industrial complex expects you to leave and implicitly accept a wordless agreement with everyone else, to pretend you all saw a movie, to avoid embarrassment.

This is the solution they thought up to the problem that they didn’t know which movie to make. After the disastrous mishandling of the IP by the Disney corporation, there was no way left to go. There was nothing to salvage. There was no way to make another movie. So they simply didn’t.

They went through the motions. Writers sat down in a writers room, actors were cast and lines were rehearsed, new music was written. Everyone showed up for the shoots, the director told them what to do, special effects artists spent thousands upon thousands of hours on their computers. The only difference being that no one ever…