Three Fairy Tales about sex/Case Studies about Trauma
In the Serial Killer article, as well as many others, I have used the term “returning to the scene of the crime”, as a metaphor for a kind of physical and psychological behaviour. Here I would like to clarify exactly what I mean by this, and doing so in the most efficient and precise way possible: By telling three stories that function on a sort of vague ethereal Jungian common-unconscious meta-level. That just so happens to also be literally true factual case studies, satisfying the demands of material science.
It relates in great part to sexual fantasy. There is a vast difference between talking about sex, and sexual fantasies — sexual fantasies barely have anything to do with sex, but everything to do with trauma. Sexual fantasies are simplifications of the world, deliberate simplifications of things that are complicated, and in their complication, frustrating to the mind. Usually more than frustrating, frightening. I spent the entirety of Big Mexican Nips trying to explain race-fetishism like this:
Fetishization is formalisation of the distance at which approaching the object of desire is safe. if, for example [brown people] appear to hold the object of desire, appear to have access to or contain some kind of Value, but they are foreign and unknown territory to you, and there is an anxiety in that, then the solution becomes, approaching [brown people] inside sexual fantasy.
Generally, whatever gets you off, whatever you hyper-focus on in sexual fantasies, is in some way the thing you are most scared about. This is not because it helps you get off — rather the other way around. It as a psychological attempt at bio-hacking, at hacking your own biology; tricking yourself by jerking off so you wont feel so scared.
You are SO AFRAID of spiders that in a panic, you start jerking off whenever you see one, to try to drown out your fears and thoughts in the pleasure-stimuli, and over time doing this has made you associate spiders with jerking off, and created a self destructive feedback loop as a coping mechanism for your initial fear response to spiders. You don’t want to…